Sunday, May 02, 2004
4:18 PM
....if i could find You now...it would be better...
went HoGC today. took mrt 2 suntec b4 dat, and consumed an entire big gulp...almost wanted 2 buy bram stroker's dracula, but decided dat my rents would rant if they found out...-_-" there r always other chances...
joann prayed for me when pst how asked the leaders to go and prophesieth on the others. her prophecy(it sounds so coolXP) said i would be a writer for God, and my work would be filled with His spirit...and i wouldn't just be an ordinary writer, i would be God's writer... wow....my hands working for God..?like whoa. so i guess dats my new goal in life. To write for god, be God's writer...God's hands....
i was walking ard suntec, and i was just wondering about how others saw me. most ppl think i'm anti social, and scary, and psychotic...i mean, just because i wear an ankh around my neck and look for Dracula, and read Hellsing and anne rice and holly black and frensesca lia block....that doesnt make me a total weirdo...
i'm not crazy. i'm not an occultist, i do not worship the devil, i do not turn crosses upside down. i'm not a pagan, im not a heathen, i'm not and incubus or a succubus. i'm not a self-mutilator, im not a No Life King, im not a vampiress, im not a bloodsucking dirtbag, im not a hellhound. i do not come from hell, im not a demon, i'm not a witch. i don't spend my days mutilating badly made voodoo dolls, i don't dance around cauldrons and i most certainly don't have a flying broomstick. i can;t turn into a bat, i don't sleep in a coffin. my skin is not pale, my eyes are not red, i do not have fangs. i'm not Nosferatu, or Vlad Dracula.
so stop staring at me like i am.
ok dat was two ironies battling with each other. strange isn't it? i think i really am insane. but no matter, insane is good. in a way.....
so how would i describe myself?gothic yes, but not to the point of extremity. and i like it that way. no one's gonna change me...just like i will write for God, and no one will get in my way...
+to be on fire, you have to burn+
~