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Tuesday, July 13, 2004
8:20 AM
...and when the world is on its knees with me it's fine...and when i come to your rescue i get nothin but left behind...

i'm feeling like shit.
having a fever. back aches. throat hoarse.
damn.
cg yesterday night. air con too damn cold. face was red. fever. headache. devil drilling ten thousand o.1mm jackals and cassuls through my brain. using a triton to spear my head. burn. sear. ash. dust. pain. numbness.

cold. so cold.
alone. cant eat. wont sleep.
if i had another shot at it all.
would i do it just the same?
so much weighing on my mind. the world is dizzying.kaliedoscope, swirling nebula of abysmal black. smoke and grey.

tryin so hard to be someone i'm not.
i forgot who i am.
tried to fill my emptiness.
and now it's all spilled over.