i....
i can't think anymore.
i sound loony.
i'm feeling like a complete flop.
i can feel the depression again. that monstrous jet black smoldering coal shadow. eating up my soul....
i'm falling over the edge.

i feel weak. physically so as well. my muscles are bunched and aching. so much homework i have left to do. no inpsiration to write..feeling so dry and hollow.
why do i always feel that way? and there are so few people who seem to care, who understand.
wei sheng. thank you so much for the gift and being patient. you have no idea how much it means.
maria. you understand and you see all the things i see. i never thought anyone else would know.
gen. wish you were here. i love you too.
nat. i want to run over to your house and sit in your room, and talk about things until late into the night.

have i disappeared yet?
is it time for me to go?
angel can you take my hand now
and tell me what i already know
can i tell you all my secrets?
how i fall into the sky
can i show you where my scars are
can you give me wings to fly?
you smile at me in the darkness
and my heart feels turned to ice
why am i here dear angel?
or are you in disguise?
into the maw i tumble
great teeth like iron spears
the depths of hell shall open
the heavens litter its tears

im falling...falling into a sleep. and i shan't think i will ever wake again.