ahhh phantom fever baby!!
i cant stop singing it! i totally ADORE phantom of the opera.....
after training today(which ended early) my mum went to kovan to eat lunch.den we went toa payoh central to fix her specs. i was crushed cuz dere wa sno cd shop in sight, den i saw CDRAMA!!! i tell u i ran all da way back to the optical shop to get money and ran all the way back! i was panting and then when i went to the soundtrack section...no POTO ost....
DAMN.
i was so pissed. i wanted to just curse.blahh.
so i left dejected, and went to mos burger to wait for my mum. ate a fish burger n fries, cuz i dint eat lunch xept for cup noodles and it was already about 2 o'clock. read Phantom of The Opera(the BOOK) and spilled sour cream on one page.. sheesh. den we finally dragged ourselves home. now im uber tired. was packing my room from 3pm till now...dug out sooo much ancient rubbish i dint really look at them...
i need dat soundtrack curse it!
*growls menacingly*
ah wells. i did the amazing feat of completing most of my homework! yesterday i had only half of my english done, and now all i have is my chinese and my english book review. i am amazed at myself lol. but wednesday and thursday have been really hectic for me. i spent oen day studying straight through and the other one training and packing. tomorrow i'll take a break before i collapse. hahah...sorry i have no capacity for work ^^;
anywayyyy
thus goes the song i cant stop singing..!

Masquerade

Masquerade!
Paper faces on parade . . .
Masquerade!
Hide your face,
so the world willnever find you!
Masquerade
!Every face a different shade . . .
Masquerade!
Look around -
there's anothermask behind you!
Flash of mauve . . .
Splash of puce . . .
Fool and king . . .
Ghoul and goose . . .
Green and black . . .
Queen and priest . . .
Trace of rouge . . .
Face of beast . . .
Faces . . .
Take your turn,
take a ride
on the merry-go-round . . .
in an inhuman race . . .
Eye of gold . . .
Thigh of blue . . .
True is false . . .
Who is who . . .?
Curl of lip . . .
Swirl of gown . . .
Ace of hearts . . .
Face of clown . . .
Faces . . .
Drink it in, drink it up,
till you've drowned in the light . . .
in the sound . . .
RAOUL/CHRISTINE
But who can name the face . . .?
ALL
Masquerade!
Grinning yellows,
spinning reds . . .
Masquerade!
Take your fill -
let the spectacle astound you!
Masquerade!
Burning glances,
turning heads . . .
Masquerade!
Stop and stare
at the sea of smiles
around you!
Masquerade!
Seething shadows
breathing lies . . .
Masquerade!
You can fool
any friend whoever knew you!
Masquerade!
Leering satyrs,
peering eyes . . .
Masquerade!
Run and hide -
but a face will
still pursue you!

perplexion...
to Aristocrat..thou art whom? to whom do i owe the pleasure? *smiles and bows*
thank you for your well wishes. my muse is misbehaving very often as of late. i hope it will be more agreeable soon.
=)
you perplex me sir/madam Aristocrat! i very much wish to know your mysterious identity....
will you honour such a bold request?

what has gotten into me??
i wonder...
i am beginning to sound all lyrical again. is that a good thing or a terrific tragedy?only time will tell.
i Love Phantom of the Opera...!
i have now becomea devoted and hardcore Phan. i congratulate myself on this joyous ocassion!
right.
no seriously...i went to watch the movie a few days back, on the day it opened i think. Absolutely amazing!
the acting was splendid. the amount of emotion and the entire atmosphere draws you in like a haunting song. emmy rossum's voice is perfection-- crystalline and clear as a bell tinkling in the breeze. gerard butler makes and impressive phantom with his baritone and harsh but powerful voice, sometimes soft as a velvet cushion and other times resonant as the bells of Notre Dame. It was absolutely awesome, even the opening scene was very impressive. so much angst and emotion!
i was spellbound. i still am. i feel like watching it over and over, so that i shall never forget....
my mind is revolving around it now. everytime i think or dream or even want to talk...
all that comes out is Angel of Music, or Masquerade, or Music of the NIght or All I ask...
so much beauty that i am left standing in awe, barely rooted in reality.
barely breathing, captured by the grace and splendour.
...Where are you Angel of Music?
come to me Angel fo Music....

Dear God

i know how i already have so many things for Christmas. And i know christmas isn't about the gifts-- its about You. But God i also know You love me....Lord i bring everything i have...my new handphone,my books, my rose, my chocolate...all my gifts i lay them at Your feet. All i want for christmas is to bring someone to church, to get her saved....to change a life.

I'm not asking for Magnacarta, or an xbox, or a dvd, or any book....i just want one soul Lord, one soul won for You...
This is my wish Jesus, this is all i want for Christmas.

Love,
Your child
fedora.

i am awake at the unholy hour of 7:54 am because a group of insane maniacs in the opposite block is conducting their very own scouts cheering session or something. they have been endlessly clapping,cheering,singing nonsensical songs and at one point at about 7am was blowing something that sounded vaguely like trumpets. someone please shut those freaks up.

i' soory, i indeed came online siomply to bitch about it. i shall now jack my volume up and blast japanese in their faces. there they go again. do my tomentors never tire? i think they've been up since 6:30. screw them, the mindless assholes. i need to SLEEP here. unlike you who apparently have nothing else better to do then awake at unholy hours and torture sleeping people such as i who went to bed groggy-eyed past midnight because she stayed up to do her chinese homework(and watched CSI and the practice.guilty!) and watched Ocean'e Twelve(an excellent movie btw) before that and was living through a horrible A and E math tuition before that and was slaving over her computer doing everyone a christmas pic before THAT. bah humbug.

seriously. i'm frickin tired and i have a whole 2 hour chinese(the mother of hellspawn) tuition at 9:30 and i get awaken at roughly 7am by insane mad out of their minds lost their frickin marbles people blowing fricking trumpets or something while shouting and cheering and fricking singing. please, can they just shut the hell up!

the world is such a screwed up place sometimes.

whee.how enjoyable. -__-

i sure am early this morning...anyway i finally went somewhere vaguely interesting yesterday-Borders!! whee~~
Books dat fe Bought
-The Phantom if the Opera; Gaston Leroux
-Interview with the Vampire; Anne Rice(finally!)
-Winter Rose; Patricia McKillip
-Through Violet Eyes; Steven Woodworth

actually i was deciding between Winter ROse and Tamora Pierce's Trickster's Choice....but since i was going to get Interview i decided not to push my luck.wahaha....there was a 25% off on everything so it actually only added up to about $40....but i FINALLY have good books to read. =)
oh and on my way out from Borders, i saw a 2005 calendar of Anime Girls!!(why culdn't it be Guys whahaa ^^;) ahh....i was like stamping my foot and going AHHHHH....! why didn;t i see it earlier. then i was like oh well..and had place the darling calendar back on the shelf. -___- it costs $25.95 anyone wanna get me dat for christmas?? haha XD

i have the incessant urge to write. i can tell whenever i have such urges-- i tend to think and talk and even write like a 17th century aristocrat. now isn't that just wonderful? =P no but seriously. i need to write!! problem is i dunno what to write about.....it's like those times when i just start writing, nto knowing what will turn out. freaky i tell you. extremely eccentric...

well anyways, just wanted to blog and relieve some of all that pent up i-want-to-write-ness...
*goes off to make cup noodles.hehee*

YOUTH CAMP WAS AWESOME.

i mean it was totaLly awesome. its beyond awesome. we had so much fun together..!
most of the time it was pretty free and easy. first day was water games, and i was like i WILL NOT get wet..and in the end i got drenched anyway hahaha....but it was very fun. we had to collect water by biting these water bombs dat were tied to the goal post. ahaha...eveyrone's saliva all inside it was actyually quite sick...den we had to lift a bucket of water wif our feet while taking our shoes off....dat was pretty fun too!!! the last game was the Word fo Faith one, where some people had to roll around in a mess of disgusting stuff(mud,peanut butter,leaves,water,soap...) and find the pieces of paper with word of faith on them. and i was unfolding the soggy paper...hahaha...den we alls tood in the basketball court rehearsing dat Rugby cheer until it was time to wash up....
and then it was sermon time!!
pastor preached such a powerful sermon i was so inspired. he was tyeaching about loving Others...which is kind alike the theme. WIlliam Booth, the founder of Salvation ARmy, worte only one word on his last letter with the goals of the SA on it and it was Others . dat was the ginning of the time which impacted me the most. Pastor shared about the Titanic, and how WIlliam Harper, a pastor on board sacrificed his life while trying to save people and bring them to Christ. He was swimming in the water and asking people, Are you saved? and just before he died, he said something along the lines of Believe in the Lord and you will be saved.
then he shared about the Empress of Ireland, a ship sailing to London. There were 170 salvation army youths on board when the ship sank, and they were all in the water. and what really touched me was when pastor told us about one of the girs who was with the youth group. She threw her life vest to a burly man and told him to take it. He said no, and threw it back. and she replied, "Take it, you need it more than i do!"

It wAS really powerful, because i knew that if i had been in the water, i probably would not have sacrificed my liufe so readily for someone who was Unsaved. Then i heard soemthing even more powerful-- pastor said, if we could just spend five minutes in hell, we would go all out to save people. and i really believe its true, because soemtimes i imagine my really good freinds in hell and it really kills me. Pastor prayed for us then, and then he said to me while i was standing there with people praying for me, he said that my life would change, and my old self was dying. He said that all my life i had not given God my all, always holding back. and i was so impacted and so moved i fell and i realised how completely true it was.

the second night's sermon was by Pastor Lia. she talked about how some of us have a distorted self image and when we have that we cannot love others. yet again i was really impacted, because i was never really someone who had the highest self confidence-- it takes just a little milestone to make me trip. i was so blessed by the message, because i realised that i am made by God himself, and my value cannot be taken away. and then pastor Lia shared about her past and her testimony, and i was so touched i was so close to crying....it was really amazing. pastor how prayed for me again, which was soemthing i didn't expect and i was so glad he did, because he really spoke into my life and made me realise many things. it was through him that God really changed me and made me a new person...I heard so clearly from God, that i am someone who follows her convictions and beliefs, but now i must follow through the most important conviction of all--Loving GOd and others, and going deep in God and rising up.

after those two sermons i was very very touched and i left the camp a totally different person. i felt myself change so much inside it amazed me...i can really feel that i am starting my change right here and now. now i know my destiny and i will fight for it, shatter the cage and fly free. I am going to be a great Leader of many people, i am going to save many souls and i am going to move people and reach out to them trhough the words i write...

i will finish the race, i will keep the Faith.

Youth Camp Tomorrow!!

whee...
(what a redundant word)
haha. i woke up like around 9.30 this morning. i missed Law and Order yesterday night!!
oh blahh.
i had the strangest dream last night. i dreamt that i was off slaying monsters that looked like they came out from The Island of Dr Moreau, and my team and i infiltrated their base and got chased by these android things which were controlled from the inside by little super-intelligent alien-creatures...and then we took refuge in some church where we used the forge there to build weapons with a metallic alloy strong enough to cuyt through the androids' armor and destroy them. and just when we were about to forge the weapons, we all got thrown into a sort of time lapse, where i met a strange girl who was the daughter of the Dreamer(anyone watched Clamp X the movie??the two sisters with the red eye on ther foreheads??) and i aske dher to Awake us, and she said she would die if she did. and i otld he rit was her choice, and she did awake us..then we kicked the androids' ass, blew up the Freak Show Base and became widely known monster-slayers...

no i am NOT kidding. i DID in fact dream that up, contrary to what most people might think.

yes, i do admit. my imagination is plain eccentric.

in any case, all that is slowly fading awya, and the details are less and less clear nwo that i think about it. thaTs the strange thing about dreams.. u never remember them. well anyway, i decided to vaguely begin packing ym things for camp today. and i just went through the list and i have a few dozen questions....yet again, another unsucessful attempt at being organised...

1) what kind of clothes to pack?
2)bring a blanket?? XD
3)bring and umbrella AND poncho?
4)sleeping bags??
5)handphone charger??

yes. i think its really strange..some of the things are just WEIRD to pack along. maybe i'll call Samantha later and ask. joanne must be busy or sleeping or something hahaha....
my poor nose is still blocked, and my voice is still on notch lower than usual. damn cough.
i have a strange urge to go buy The PHantom of The Opera(the novel).
maybe i'll eg my mum to bring me to popular later...
i need a nice new book sate my thirst apparently, because i didn;t feel like reading Dragonlance. another strange observation.
*crosses fingers*
mum please be in a good mood today.

losta things happened!! im kidna hyped now...im a bit down wif a blockie nose and a sore throat plus some rabid coughing...=P someone pity me hahaa....and its CHURCH CAMP IN 2 DAYS
whoch means blogging hiatus! ^^ anyway, i'll start recapping from thursdae.

Thursday

natalie came over after training. training was okay except that my nose ran liek mad and i was snifflinf half the time and sneezing the other. i came sniffling and wrinling my nose form the toilet and everyone laughed at me =P dne jamie went specially to get me strepsils cuz i asked her to rbing some. so sweet of her rite? lol...anyway, we played captain's ball and i lost(cuz i was in the sec1 team.blah) but hey wadeva yeah. jiemin jamie n i shot some basketball hahaha..it was really paiseh cuz i dunno how to play den taiko still cna get in lol....den jamie n jiemin were telling me how to shoot properly hahaha...quite fun..
anyway, nat came over and we tried tp get Hellsing working, but then she fast-fowarded the disc n we had to replay the whole first episode cuz it hanged. den she did the SAME THING again(here we burst into laughter) and in the end it worked. ...after a few eps we went to wtach National TReasure. that show was rocking..veyr much like the Da Vinci COde....mind-boggling and cool. yeah..and we were talking abt iot all the way ghome. we stayed up late watching for love or money 4, and rachel chose caleb and they both ditched the money..which was kinda nice haha....den watche dinuyasha which wa skidna lame =P...dne we talked abt the "old times" for most of the night and laughed relaly loud XD

Friday

woke up super late.hahaha...ate breakfats, den we watch Vampire Hunter D after lunch...before that we were designing characters to roleplay...in the end she had to go home at 3..which was super early...cuz my mum wnated to go visit granparents. not dta im mean or wadeva..jus dat she spent 5 min waiting for my grandpa and he din come home..dne went to another fren's gouse and went back to ah gong's house again. i was like....u deprived me of my best fren for dis? den she said my dad wnated to g dinner and we ended up in some turtle soup place...i wa slike ARGGH...can dis dya get worse?? anyway...i guess i shldnt really complain...oh and my sore throat got worse and i felt eally sick(and prob looked it too) so i went doc, hu gave me foul medicine i have set my mind to take so i can recover and go for CAMP!!! ^__^

Saturday

spent the whole morning and afternoon in church...meeting for resource. my gooshHH!!! our new church is wonderful!! the walls are a very pretty and soothing red..we have a pool table!! cafe!!REAL BOOKSTORE!! our auditorium is 3 times the size of the old one!! ahh...anyway i stopped at orchard on my wya hoem n it was so crowded i decided to skip kino and go comics conn...which was so boring i culd die. good thing clement's gonna lend me some books before i dry up and wither and turn to dust...yeah. tomorrow im gonna slack. spent most fo today re-calling people and trying to get them to come for service tmr..eveyrone is like im not free etc etc..amu said she would tyr to come next week but cant tmr cuz her dad is pissed at her...maria wa slike y u suddenly ask? but she was in thailand so no use....hais..dis is really annoying somtimes lollx..but i shall persevere!!!
XD

okay..i drew a christmas pic today which was super heavy on details. anwyay im kinda tired...hais...i hate ebign sick. i feel stuffed... blahh..*looks forward to church camp*

10 Things that can Really Upset You

1) finding out you're not getting that christmas present you wiated for all year.
2)having your guitar lessons taken away for a stupid excuse that has been overused till death.
3)making a point to go to comics connection, only to find the manga you want isn't out yet.
4)thinking you have found joy in the world, only to have your hopes completely and utterly crushed into microscopic pieces.
5)you trying your best to be patient and appear happy even when you're not, and having insensitive people make all your effort go to waste by their insults.
6)feeling inferior to just about eveyr othe rhuman being on earth.
7)watching something you want so badly dangle before your eyes, then get snatched away from you.
8)putting in effort and time into doing something only to find it doesn't meet up to your standards, and that you still fail at it anyway.
9)realising that everything you ever dreamed of in life seems so far away from where you're standing.
10)taking all the feelings and changes with stoic acception and a muttered "whatever."

10 Things that can make you Find Some Hope
1)talking to a friend who knows you so well that conversations are deep and thought-provoking.
2)staring at kakashi sensei under a tree in your glossy poster, wishing inherently that he would come to life and give you a good talk through.
3)watching the thing you've been wanting for ages materialise before your eyes.
4)the prospect of having an awesome new church to worhsip God.
5)knowing you haven't totally frozen over because you grimace when cut by a razor blade.
6)reading a good poem or hearing a song that reaches deep into your soul and writes out your feelings.
7)tasting the harsh and cool flavour of nicolet minst as you roll them about your tongue in thought.
8)contemplating deep things and questioning the world within yourself while listening to Rain from Magnacarta.
9)dreaming of things you hope so wildly to one day achieve.
10)smiling sadly and deciding you are finally going mad.

i am feeling cold.
both in body and in soul.
i am feeling dead.
the pain eats like maggots through my head.
i took down my old picture from the wall.
a new one i put so i wouldn't feel sore.
in the end it made no difference to me.
what i knew is gone and i have what i see.
memories, all of them turned to dust.
and becuase they haunt me i cannot trust.
sometimes i scare myself to bed.
because of the thoughts which go through my head.
of blood and bleeding, of death and ice.
i wade through all the bitterness and lies.
i fall from my eerie de ja vu.
i see what i see and it isn't you.
what's happening to me, this blood from my eyes.
are they the tears i hid in disguise.
i am feeling lonely. i am feeling cold.
i am lost to darkness. nobody shall know.