dread...
that word, that insidious word..dread.fear.loathe.hate.
love.pain.hurt.loss.
one more day and my superficial heaven-on-earth will end.
goodbye to the so-called Shangri-la.
Crushed. yes its like i have been saying-- i feel like i'm being eaten up, piece by piece.
it's like what alethea said,
that one day we might pass each other in the corridors, and just say hi or even pretend we didn't see.
it scares me. it makes me feel hollow and plunged into, well...
loneliness? not quite strong enough.
pain? not really.
it's like..a place of frozen iciness, where you watch things and can do nothing about it.
like in stwar wras, when han was frozen in carbonite.
yes, a living grave, where you alive but immobile.
a Shell.
a ghost of yourself.
indeed.
listening to the Phantom of the Opera OSt. now more than ever its shaking my soul so hard i was trembling.
3Z. with maria. i hope we get the container classroom-- at leats ONE thing good will come from this.
i wish we never had to change classes. damn. life is like...a veyr badly designed rollercoaster.
i don't like watching people suffer alone.
i don't like knowing that other people are alone.
and most of all,
i don't like making myself alone, when i know that people need me.
people usually get the impression i don't fear making friends and things like that.
but my greatest fear is not bugs or ants or roaches or falling off a building and neve rhitting the ground.
do you know what u fear most?
change, my friends.
i fear change,
and the loneliness which comes along with it.

just to end off, darren we both love God and I never want to compromise on that. you should know by now how it is with me.. God will still be first.