S.O.S -- Good Charlotte

Is anybody listening?
Can you hear me when I call?
I'm shooting signals in the air,
Cuz I need somebody's help
I can't make it on my own,
So I'm giving up myself
Is anybody listening?

I've been stranded here and I'm miles away
Making signals hoping they save me
I lock myself inside these walls
Cuz out there I'm always wrong
I don't think I'm gonna make it
So while I'm sitting here on the eve of my defeat
I write this letter and hope it saves me

[chorus:]
Is anybody listening?
Can they hear me when I call?
I'm shooting signals in the air
'Cause I need somebody's help
I can't make it on my own
So I'm giving up myself
Is anybody listening?

I'm stuck in my own head and I'm oceans away
Would anybody notice if I chose to stay?
I'll send an S.O.S. tonight
And wonder if I will survive
How in the hell did I get so far away this time?
So now I'm sitting here
And the time of my departure's near
I say a prayer please, someone save me

[chorus]

[bridge:]
I'm lost here
I can't make it on my own
I don't wanna die alone
I'm so scared
Drowning now
Reaching out
Holding onto everything I know
Crying out
Dying now
Need some help

Is anybody listening?
Can they hear me when I call?
Shooting signals in the air
I need somebody's help
I can't make it on my own
I'm giving up myself
Is anybody listening?

i'm hiding my pain. can no one see through me?
it's been so long. 2 months and a week.
gone.
like the lightning which flashes across the sky. blinking. brilliant. reverent.
dissipating.
i feel...deep. endless. lost in a limbo of terrible and great sadness, and insane joy.
she's leaving again.
i've said goodbye once, and i say it again.
how many times can my heart break and mend again?
it pains me. i smile, but it's pained. always pained.
everything feels so empty. i feel so empty.
my best friend in the whole world, my soul sister, my guardian angel, my secret-holder.
i am loosing her again. she is fading away..i catch her but she slips through me. when will i find her again?
i am driven by the raving madness, fueled by the hollow in my heart. i need to feel her near, to know that we are on the same piece of land, not oceans away.
i want more than the electronic message of an email, or the muffled voice over the freakish telephone.
to see her face, and look into her eyes, to be in her presence.
it cannot be replaced so easily.
i cannot cry. the pain goes beyond tears and hurt and pain. it borders on numbness. icy cold, fever.
i am becoming the ice queen again.
aloof and dead to the world. my will to live, my purpose in life is suddenly blurred.
i wish i could forget her but i can't. i wish i could pack my bags and fly off with her, but i can't.
one day, we said, on the phone before her flight. one day we would be together, and we would speak to each other face to face. tour the world, we said. she, the director of our movie, i the scriptwright. we would have our own apartment. we would live together like sisters should.
big dreams, i answered.
yes, she said.
they will come to pass, we agreed.

yet i still miss her. i miss he rlike i did two years ago. life is so different now-- i am so different now. yet the hurt is still the same.
the one perosn whom i treasured the most, who i could talk to about anything, who i could rely on to understand me always. i could always talk to her, always pour out my heart and soul before and not feel ashamed. so deeply and wholly did we know each other. that one person. why did she have to go away?
i'm burning up, but it is a cold fire. i am hollowed out, and i am a shell of ice.
i don't care about anything anymore-- the numbness i feel consumes me.
i smile. i pretend to make funny laughing noises on the computer, when they mean nothing in my eyes.
because the pain, the agony, the loneliness, the darkness, the coldness, the agony which drills into my soul goes beyond words or sound or picture.
it stays there, a demon in my heart.
i slash at it, and it slinks away.

everyone yells at me, annoys me. not a moment of peace to feel that pain fully enough to dispense of it. it stays locked up, inside me, brimming over. but not spilling out.

i will be there, i had said. one day i will be there with you, i promised.i vowed.
i always keep my promises.