things are just..not going right today.
my back hurts like hell. i dunno why. it hurt really really badly during tuition.
couldn't think, just sort of drifted through.
everyone keeps yelling at me. for no apparent reason. they yell at me for being sick. or hurting my back. or lying down. or not clearing my books cuz my back hurts.
why don't you try being me for a few days?
before you go on about how much you know and think you know.
argh. sometimes i just feel like breaking something.
idiots.
they're going to yell at me soon. seeing as i will spend the whole of saturday in church. i'm quite sure they're gonna yell at me.
the usual dose
of useless words which mean nothing.
which bring no comfort.
just
ANNOYS.
I WANT TO SCREAM.
STOP BUGGING ME.
i feel shitty enough without you.

blehh.
im blockedd!! yayness. yes blocked nose blocked throat blocked everything.
trala. i cant breathe properly. and i have an ss test and an emath test tmr.
myehh...i seriously feel like just expelling everything. annoying flu.
AND i cant sign into msn. to chekc mail. or ask for hw. or just chat.
how desperately annoying.
okay....
when i think about it today wasn't so bad. hmm.
i didn't intend to stay home today..it kinda just worked that way. went to doc yesterday and he gave me an mc, and i was thinking i gotta drag my butt to sch anyways so blahh. was somewhat forced to sleep early and guess what? i woke up like super late the next morning. and my first thought was heck, i didn't drag my butt to sch after all. siggh.
hahas. but i guess i needed the rest. i feel much better than yesterday.
oh i passed my chinese!!
which is quite suprising. i was sick during both papers...and strangely, i got higher for the one when i wa smore sick-- the one that i did after my 2.4. strange right? i got 31/37 for that section!!!! even more than haiyun..i felt so. soo...haha. funny, and also happy and reallyreallreally grateful to God cuz the night befor ei prayed he would help me and wow. 31! too bad the section before sucked...but at least i passed :)))

okay so im rambling. should really go study for ss.
hm.


thank you, Lord Jesus, for seeing me through, for alwyas being there.
loving me.
caring for me.
watching out for me.
You've been a friend and the only one to stand by me.
Thank You my Jesus, My King, for all You've done.
love, Your child :)

oh, i finished reading Revenge Of The Sith. just found out rachel is ALSO a starwars fangurl! go rach! :)

-singingtomyKing-

whee~! i finally found the time to blog. :P
yes!!! isnt this wonderful beautiful exquisite a;armingly pretty bishie-filled awesomely cool blogskin SO COMPLETELY ROCKING???!!
(ps, i am saying this to make miss michelle happy.haha)
yes all courtesy of MICHELLE
michelle rockss!!!!
^__^

ahhhh...!! teen revival service was amazing! i totally dun regret going for it. like whoa! pastor lia preacheda really powerful sermon about rising up for Jesus. and at the end, she challenged us with this,
I challenge all you young people,
to give God your all, and put Him before everything else.

when i herad that i was totally blown away. i felt like there was this huge excitement and fire in me to take up the challenge-- live for God and die for God...!YEAH!
i've been keeping my quiet time properly..and its been so awesome. God is always giving me really awesome verses, and He prompts me everyday to do and sya the right things :) yeah! i really feel like He's changing me, not to be just a face int he crowd, but a face leading the crowdwhooyeah!
it's the beginning of an amazing relationship with God. i might face persecutions but i will crush them and live for Him and Him alone. :)
Yes! I am a soldier for Jesus! I'll fight for Him, FOREVER.

hahas. myeh. i've been sick!! sore throat and fever and headache and the all-round flu. i prayed that i would be able to do well for 2.4 and my chinese test even though i fel tlike blah.. and guess what? my 2.4 timing was 13.30! hey its not bad considering i had a fever the day before... haha. and for the second pART of my chinese test, i think i did quite ok...surprisingly i had a lot of answers which were the same as haiyun's. i really hope the second part can pull up all my marks. ^_^ yayy Jesus rocks! He's so amazing!

DOING

"For with God nothing will be impossible.

If you only do what you can do, then you're only ever going to do what you can do!
But, if you start to do what you cannot do, you'll find you can do what you cannot do.
And what you absolutely cannot do, God will do, or a team of incredible people will, who are attracted to the person attempting to do what he cannot do.
Don't imagine God will ask you to do what you can do!
He asks ou to do what you can't do.
Then you'll need Him to do it!
But you're the one who starts the impossible dream.
No one, not even God, gets inspired by the mediocre.
Attempt the impossible, ignore the critics, attract the best and accomplsih the unbelievable!

--Phil Pringle, Leadership Files

i am blogging again

jooyyy...=P
just finished mugging for amaths tmr..decided to blog a bit.
and say that... i feel like im gonna flunk chem and amaths tmr!!! ahhh...=((
im tired.
i feel stressed. yes fe can feel stressed!! i have javelin tmr..damn must rmb all the stuffs i need to get right. AND I HAVE CHEM N AMATHS TMR. grr. i had a splitting headache today and i was seriously dazed. as in veryvery blurr. yeesh.
i only get headaches when i have too much on my mind. *sighh*
im goin to revise my chem later...and hpe and pray that i will do well. or pass. at least. bishh.
im not looking forward to tmr. hahas..
its raining.. yayyyness.
i feel insane :D
hahahahaha okay...
i need to like destress or something. my bed feels so soft and wonderful ahhh. ^^

ALWAYS-hillsong

Did You rise the sun for me?
Or paint a million stars that I might
know Your majesty?
Is your voice upon the wind?
Is everything I've known marked
With my maker's fingerprints?

Breathe on me
Let me see Your face
Ever I will seek You

'Cause all You are is all I want, always
Draw me close in Your arms
Oh God, I wanna be with You

Can i feel You in the rain?
Abandon all I am to have You
Capture me again
Let the earth resound with praise
Can You hear as all creation lives
To glorify one name?

----------------------------------------------------------------

ahhh i love this song...its from the More Than Life cd. ^^ can't wait for sam teo to lend me her awesome cd which i just might purchase! Lol.
anyways, had resource training yesterday. Wow!! we now have cds!! yay...i think i'm gonna order some today. hahas. anyway brother sky taught us how to do the cd dupes and edit the sermons...hahas ivan treated me n jinghong to macs. so nice rite?? lolx. so much new stuff happening in resource!! yeah! its amazing..and guess what? we're gettin our own printer! haha...

its been a busy week. nest week will be just as busy i think...i have like 3 tests next week n i havent studied yet =P plus deres sports day jav on wednesday. myeh. i need to studyyy. =((
hahas. can't wait to go to church! ahh looking forward to pastor's sermon. i missed Bible study and i think i'll order the cd. haha...
yay im feeling hyped.
hahas. Jesus loooovess meeee ^^

abkafbkdfnpedsfmspclasnxajlndlknfm;slda'af lmcX,QALSNFKDCMAS;X.Zdnmsvnlx,maosdislxap[]sloakpodc.;oe7ryt38wifjmxlf,d;.

no im not mad.
i just felt like doing dat. i havent typed gibberish since i was 5 years old. joyy.
mehehe. ahhhh u noe wad my mind feels like right now?? it feels like the above...
yes. gibberish. my claves ache liek hell. my back has this sharp pain everytime i move.
argh. shot put tmr!!! damn lah.
i feel so unconditioned. and dead tired.
i still feel RED RAINY.
but tired too.
i've been thinking alot. (yes ts rather surprising i noe)
contrary to what most people might think, i do think alot. not in the educational way but in the sense that i like to think about people and situations and stuff that happens.i do it all the time. when people talk to me, i think, remember when i first met her? or that time we did that-n-that?
i'm not being depressive just reflective.
i know that i really shouldn't feel this way, but sometimes i feel reallyreally alone.
i mean its like, i know i have Jesus and He's more than life and He's always there for me and that really really really rocks.
but i remember Sylvia telling me something. she said, "i've never had a true friend before."
and alethea replied, "how true are you fedora?"
and i gave that over dramatic haughty look and said, "you dare question my integrity?"
even as i said so i wondered.
do i have a true friend, other than Jesus? am i as true a friend as i wish to be?

arghhh. whywhywhyyy. dammit why.
why do i feel so alone. when i KNOW i KNOW that i have friends. i think. i hope.
sometimes im convinced its just me and God.
even though people prove their friendship over and over i still doubt them. why the fucking hell am i doing that? they don't bloody deserve it.
and what kind of friend am i to them??
i feel like i haven't paid them back enough.
i feel like i let them down all the time.
i feel like im never there when they need me.
i feel like im just some useless pillow they take and punch on every now and then adn next time, they forget it exists.
i feel like i'm incapable of caring for anyone.
i want to be the kind of friend they deserve.
looks like i can't do that. ever.

you know how sparrows bite their own tongues and kill themselves when they get trapped in a cage?
i feel like that. except that i made that cage. and since no one sees the pain i try to hide.
i might as well bite my own tongue and die like a sparrow.

ahhh. i feel all mix-y. ;__;
like u noe happy yet freaked yet high yet sad yet tired yet hyper yet funny yet serious.
and ah bissh. im going INSANE. wahahahah.
meh. u noe i couldnt sleep? yes seriously i couldn't.
good things in fe's life
-red rain was so so so so awesome HAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAHHHHHH, haha. whee omy goodness it wa slike whoa!! so amazing. i was jumping like maddddd..felt so happy. seriously. ahh. later! more red rain! ahaha....
-aileen and alethea r coming for red rain!!!! =))
-ahh gen u better come i love yu gurl!! get ur ass down to red rain!! hahaha.
-i got into CAP
-yingxi got into CAP

not so good things in fe's life
-she who shant be named is going to CAP ARGH. i shant be defeated by her presence. myeh.
-marion and alethea r gonna kill me cuz i havent gotten their naruto headbands!
-i havent done my homework
-or read haishuizhenlan
-or studied for amaths
-rani cheated during the lit test so we might hav a retest. on shakespeare. dammit. why of all things shakespeare.

ahh i feel so hyperrrrrrr...ahhaha. i culdnt sleep yesterday. ahhh. i was lying in bed and waiting for sleep to cliam me..and i woke up at 5am dis morning cuz i culdnt sleep. so dat gives me a grand total of 4 hours of sleep. joyyyy. haha. im just too high. meh.
yesterday was uberuberuber funnnn. haha. my mum made me do some amaths in the morning and i was grumbling, like "CAN I PLEASE LEAVE NOW LIKE NOW AHH IM LATE AHH."
haha. den i got to dhoby ghaut at like 1.45. and clement n the whole nuch were like at parklane lan gaming and it was bloody raining and i had to run ove rin the rain n i got wetttttt. hahaha. watched them pwn each other. so fun. i feel superior standing there smirking cuz i dun need to worry abt getting pwned. hahaha. den we waited for soo long for red rain to start and den it wa slike whoaaaa. red rain rocked! haaha.
'nuf said yeah? haha. the presence of God was maazing.. blew me away. esp when they sang New Day and prodigal.
ahhh.. denw ent to eat dinner at ps. we dragged everyone to comics conn den yamaha den finally went kfc. hahas..n i drank one huge cup of mountain dew!!! i had gastric the whole night XD whee i rock nyah.
yes. n i had to stand cuz got no seat. but oh wells.
waii. im tiredtired HYPERR tired.
my claves ache.
aaaaahhh.
RED RAIN
^^